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House & Home

Why Having Your Own Side Of The Bed Is Better For Your Sleep And Your Relationship

In this article

TikToker Angelina Murphy, better known as @renovatingourhome, caused a bit of a stir when she admitted that she and her husband don’t have ‘designated’ sides of the bed, they just randomly choose a side every night… weird right?! But, it’s got us wondering, why do most of us prefer sleeping in the same spot every night?

The comment section of Angelina’s video went wild, with some users joking that even when single, they still have a side of the bed. Our CEO and Senior Sleep Expert, Martin Seeley, has addressed some of the issues raised in the comments of this viral video, explaining why it’s actually far healthier - for both your sleep and relationship - to have a designated side of the bed.

Young couple snuggled up in bed on different sides of the bed.

You'll get to sleep faster

Your brain is very susceptible to patterns and triggers, which is why we recommend things like keeping eating and work or studying out of the bedroom. Your brain will quickly begin to associate certain areas, environments and even positions with sleep, making it easier to drift off.

The consistency of sleeping on the same side of the bed every night will lead to a better quality of sleep, as your body is attuned to the ‘cues’ that signal it’s time for sleep. The feel of the same pillow after nights of laying your head on it, or even something as small as a draft or breeze from a window will trigger your brain into going into relax-mode when it recognises it.

Plus, if you have a memory foam mattress, you might find that your side moulds more easily to your unique shape over time, as it becomes used to warming and adapting in specific areas.

You'll feel better about yourself

Sharing a home and bed with the person you love is a wonderful experience, but sometimes you need your own space. Even when you’re sharing a bed, it’s important to still maintain a sense of independence, and having your own side can help to achieve this.

In a follow up video addressing the comments on her original TikTok, Angelina explains that while she and her husband describe the two bedside tables as either ‘his’ or ‘hers’, there’s not much in them. And their phone chargers are the same type, long enough to extend to either side of the bed.

Martin, however, explains that having your own things on the bed side table next to you is a great way of feeling like you have your own space in bed. You can keep your book, kindle or water bottle next to you, or even a framed photo that sparks joy for you personally.

Having a set up like this will help you feel safer, calmer and more relaxed, ready for a much higher quality night’s sleep.

Couple asleep on their own sides of the bed next to the man's bedside table with his things on.

It will strengthen your relationship

Having your own side of the bed can help to strengthen your relationship by reducing sleep-related bickering. Imagine you really want to sleep closer to the window on a hot night, but your partner is insisting they want that side tonight!

Not only this, but sharing a bed with a partner and sleeping next to each other is a truly intimate experience, even when you’re both snoring your heads off, and by having your own ‘sides’ it symbolises how you’ve come together and merged your different lives.

Plus, when one of you is away, you’ll be reminded of the other’s absence when you crawl into bed, as they’re not in their spot. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and by missing you in your usual sleeping space, your partner will feel a deeper connection to you, making it all the more exciting when you return.

Lonely man on his side of the bed missing his partner on theirs.

Of course, it’s each to their own, and what works for you and your relationship or sleep preferences is the ideal way to go - a no-side rule works for Angelina and her partner! But, if you’re looking to get the best night’s sleep possible, we’d recommend sticking to the tradition of having a designated side of the bed.

If you don't have a partner to share a bed with, you might even have designated sides of the bed with your pet! Read our post on the benefits of sharing a bed with your dog to see how this can actually be good for you.

An image of the author, Molly, Family Home Specialist Molly, Family Home Specialist Bio & articles

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